How To Determine If He’s Gay Or A Well-Dressed Man

Below, you’ll find three ways to tell if he’s gay or if he’s just an attractive, well-dressed straight man.

1. Boobs do absolutely nothing for him.

You finished your weekly squat routine at the gym, and as you were hurrying out, you accidentally knocked over a handsome man’s orange. Feeling terrible (while catching his perfect blonde hair and round ass), you exchanged numbers, promising to make it up to him.

While you never met for that cup of joe, you have been sending him flirty texts and the occasional half-naked selfie in hopes this expensive membership makes you fit and finds you love.

His response? A solid thumbs up! And instead of a coffee date, he offers to take you shopping. That bra you had on is sooooo not your color.

2. One of his favorite hobbies is grinding on other dudes.

It’s a night out with the girls, and as you push your way to the crowded bar, you end up sandwiched next to a particularly tall, dark and handsome gentleman.

Are those leather pants he’s wearing? It’s too dark to tell, so you flutter your eyelashes in pursuit of that free drink and, hopefully, some quick mouth-to-mouth action.

You’re a classy lady, so even though he bought you (and himself) an iceless cosmopolitan, you give him space and watch from afar as he dances awfully close with his equally cute friend to Ariana Grande’s “Into You.”

Oh, and it looks like he knows all the words, too! Can this be any more perfect? It’s like you were definitely made for each other.

3. He basically tells you he’s a flaming homosexual.

You’ve buddied up with that new guy at work, and after some witty banter and lunch breaks at the Gap, you finally made weekend plans for a movie.

You’re not exactly sure if he’s into you, but fingers crossed he finally makes a move during this digitally-remastered afternoon showing of “The First Wives Club.”

The lights are dim, and you can’t help but stare as he tosses popcorn into those perfectly crafted, shiny lips.

You start to lean in and… is that strawberry you smell? He immediately realizes your intention and stops you short.

“Girl, let me let you in on a little secret,” he says.

He tongue pops and goes back to watching the movie.

Hahaha… Is that obvious enough for you?


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